неделя, 16 декември 2012 г.

I was stupid***.


If I could go back then (back then)
If I could go back when (back when)
And step into the past (way back)
I'd do it all again (again)
If I could go back then (back then)
If I could go back when (back when)
I was a stupidass (dumbass)
I'd do it all again (again)


понеделник, 22 октомври 2012 г.

not afraid of dyin'.


First I lost myself.
Then I lost my love.
In the middle I understood that I lost my sanity too.
And in the end I lost my brother.


The last drop that was sustaining me from shattering and goin' insane was lost. I am afraid that I am losin' my feelings too..



I will quote one passage from one of my favorite movies... :


A: What becomes of us?
B; The world will decide. The world always decides.



Such as we are, you will be.



Not that I give up, just stopping to live.

I  look forward  meeting  death.


събота, 20 октомври 2012 г.

неделя, 7 октомври 2012 г.

just a tear. for you. yes, you.

Моя стрела опоздала
Подарил тебе дождь
Прости мне бы подрасти
Боюсь сойти на ум
Да я снова на краю
Время отдаю you
Не хватает пустоты
Ты все что исчезло
Вдруг вокруг только звук
Упавших век
Двери стук
Снег разбег
Лед уйдет
Я войду из пустоты
Это ты просто ты
Ты была всегда моя
Волна ожиданием полна
Моя вина глубина
Мокрая стена передо мною
Ночь но она не сможет мне помочь
Слова кругом голова уходит прочь
То о чем не нужно знать
Ни тебе ни мне вне
Нас миллионы глаз
Миллионы фраз
Пусть нам осталась грусть
Но она одна бездна

четвъртък, 27 септември 2012 г.

You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me.



*******: There are things about you that I like. You're smart, you're funny, you're... spectacular in bed... But you're intolerable! You have very serious emotional problems. Deep seated problems for which you should seek professional help.

вторник, 25 септември 2012 г.

Feelin' like Hell everytime I breathe.


Thought I was down.
Thought I was gone.
Thought I was around.
I left you alone.
Look Up in the Sky.
Just look Up in the Sky.
See that I'm everywhere
Everywhere
Shining Down on You.

неделя, 9 септември 2012 г.

Jack the White.


My soul is shattered.


I want love
To roll me over slowly
stick a knife inside me,
and twist it all around.

I want love to
grab my fingers gently
slam them in a doorway
put my face into the ground.

I want love to
murder my own mother
and take her off to somewhere
like hell or up above.

I want love to
change my friends to enemies,
change my friends to enemies
and show me how it's all my fault.

I wont let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me x 2
Yeah I wont let love disrupt, corrupt, or interrupt me anymore.

I want love to
walk right up and bite me
grab a hold of me and fight me
leave me dying on the ground.

And I want love to
split my mouth wide open and
cover up my ears,
and never let me hear a sound.

I want love to,
forget that you offended me
or how you have defended me,
when everybody tore me down.

Yeah I want love to
change my friends to enemies,
change my friends to enemies
and show me how it's all my fault.

Yeah I wont let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me
I wont let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me
I wont let love disrupt, corrupt, or interrupt me anymore.

петък, 7 септември 2012 г.

петък, 31 август 2012 г.

Пункция.

In memory of my former self,
                          programmer, genius, fool, son, brother, visionary, playboy, madman, druggie, friend.


The sun came up with no conclusions
Flowers sleepin' in their beds
The city cemetary's hummin'
I'm wide awake, its mornin'

I have my drugs, I have my woman
they keep away my loneliness
My parents, they have their religion
But sleep in separate houses

I read the body count out of the paper
And now it's written all over my face
No one ever plans to sleep out in the gutter
Sometimes thats just the most comfortable place

So I'm drinkin', breathin', writin', singin'
Every day I'm on the clock
My mind races with all my longings
But can't keep up with what I got

And so I hope I dont sound too ungrateful
What history gave modern man
A telephone to talk to strangers
Machine guns and a camera lens

So when you're asked to fight a war thats over nothin'
Its best to join the side thats gonna win
No one's sure how all of this got started
But we're gonna make 'em God damn certain how its gonna end
Oh yeah we will, oh yeah we will!

Well I could have been a famous singer
If I had some one else's voice
But failures always sounded better
Let's fuck it up boys, make some noise!

The sun came up with no conclusions
Flowers sleepin' in their beds
The city cemetary's hummin'
I'm wide awake, its mornin'!

сряда, 8 август 2012 г.

Happy?

Glad you are. Really, I am.
You are workin' right? Have peace with it.
Be the change you wanted to see in the world.
Don't try to hold back your feelings.






little black submarine



петък, 3 август 2012 г.

%$*%

Ladies and gentlemen!
Introducing the Chocolate Starfish!
And the Hotdog Flavored Water
Bring it on!
Get the fuck up!
Yeah!
Check, one, two
Listen up, listen up!
Here we go
It's a fucked up world
We're a fucked up place
Everybody's judged by their fucked up face
Fucked up dreams
Fucked up life
A fucked up kid
With a fucked up knife
Fucked up moms
And fucked up dads
It's a fucked up cop
With a fucked up badge
Fucked up job
With fucked up pay
And a fucked up boss

Is a fucked up pain
Fucked up press
And fucked up lies
Well, Lethal's in the back
With the fact of the fires

Hey, it's on
Everybody knows this song
Hey, it's on
Everybody knows this song

Ain't it a shame that you can't say "Fuck"
Fuck's just a word
And it's all fucked up
Like a fucked up punk

With a fucked up mouth
A nine inch nail
I'll get knocked the fuck out
Fucked up aids

From fucked up sex
Fake ass titties
On a fucked up chest
We're all fucked up

So what you want to do?
We fucked up me
And fucked up you

You want to fuck me like an animal
You'd like to burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug
Just know that nothing you do
Will bring you closer to me

Ain't life a bitch?
A fucked up bitch
A fucked up soul with a fucked up stitch
A fucked up head

Is a fucked up shame
Swinging on my nuts
Is a fucked up game
Jealousy filling up a fucked up mind

It's real fucked up
Like a fucked up crime
If I say "Fuck" two more times
That's forty six "Fucks" in this fucked up rhyme

Hey, it's on
Everybody knows this song
Hey, it's on
Everybody knows this song

You want to fuck me like an animal
You'd like to burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug
Just know that nothing you do
Will bring you closer to me

Hooo-aaa Haaaw!
Listen up baby
You... can't... bring... me... (bring me)... down
I... don't... think... so

I don't want some
You... better... check... your... (check it)... self
Before.. you.. wreck.. your.. self
Kiss.. my.. star.. fish

My... choco... late.. Star... fish.. punk
Kiss... my... star... fish
My... choco... late... Star... fish

You want to fuck me like an animal
You want to burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug
Just know that nothing you do
Will bring you closer to me



-------------------------------------------------------

I remember singing this with you.

четвъртък, 2 август 2012 г.

Can't handle it.

не издържам,
ще се пръсна.

шибания ми мозък
си прави мъжки репродуктивни органи с мен,

трябва ми.
трябва ми..
трябва ми...
that soul...

deshi basara.


сряда, 11 юли 2012 г.

Rain

Just walking in the rain
Getting soaking wet
Torturing my heart
By trying to forget

Just walking in the rain
So alone and blue
All because my heart
Still remembers you

People come to windows
They always stare at me
Shaking their heads in sorrow
Saying, who can that fool be

Just walking in the rain
Thinking how we met
Knowing things could change
Somehow I can't forget

неделя, 8 юли 2012 г.

The Genius Johnny Quid.


You see that pack of Virginia killing sticks on the end of the piano?!


All you need to know about life is retained in those four walls. You will notice that one of your personalities is seduced by the illusions of grandeur - the gold packet of king size with a regal insignia, an attractive implication towards grandeur and wealth, the subtle suggestion that cigarettes are indeed your royal and loyal friends, and that, Pete, is a lie.

Your other personality is trying to draw your attention to the flip side of the discussion, written in boring  bold black and white, it's a statement that these little soldiers of death and in fact trying to kill you and that, Pete, is the truth.

Oh, beauty is a beguiling call to death and i'm addicted to the sweet pitch of its siren. That that starts sweet ends bitter, and that which starts bitter ends sweet. That is why you and I love the drugs and that is also why I cannot give that painting back. Now please, pass me a light!!


понеделник, 25 юни 2012 г.

неделя, 24 юни 2012 г.

I am the bad guy.


I was on a rehab and I learned that I must accept who am I. I am the bad guy.


Where the last pain is gone and all is left is Black.


I can't ignore that I am a disease.


вторник, 19 юни 2012 г.

събота, 2 юни 2012 г.

Here is a little poem.


I

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Faralysed force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us - if at all - not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

II

Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death's dream kingdom
These do not appear:
There, the eyes are
Sunlight on a broken column
There, is a tree swinging
And voices are
In the wind's singing
More distant and more solemn
Than a fading star.

Let me be no nearer
In death's dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer -
Not that final meeting
In the twilight kingdom.

III

This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man's hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.

Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Tremling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone

IV

The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms
In this last of meeting places
We grope together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death's twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.

V

Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o'clock in the morning.
Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For thine is the kingdom

For Thine is
Life is
For thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

понеделник, 28 май 2012 г.

четвъртък, 24 май 2012 г.

Freefallin'

The mark of a mature man is a certain scar he bears: 
the memory of a perfect woman he never won, 
or of a once-true love forever lost. 
However much he may love you, he is only here because she is not.

сряда, 16 май 2012 г.

Inside the mind of the silent Kyuzo.



I draw my weapons and stand ready.
My eyes are closed.
There is silence all around.
I wait. Ready. Prepared.
There is nothing in the world.
There is nothing at all in the world besides myself, my swords, and my target.
Around me on all sides the desert is quiet. The wind doesn't blow. The weeds don't rustle. The sand doesn't shift. All is still.
My swords are the only sound. The cold metal hums in the night, not unlike the faint approach of merchant ships. Mine are a subtler sound. A caress of the air as the sharpened blade slices through anything in its path. The soft give of yielding flesh. The effortless taking of a life.
I focus.
There is nothing in the world.
Nothing to stand between myself, my swords, and my target.
In an instant, everything changes.
Silence becomes cacophany. Still serenity becomes a whirlwind. Every muscle in this mortal body becomes a machine, built and designed and intended for a single purpose.
To kill.
To hold a sword is to dedicate oneself to that purpose.
There is no other reason.
Every strike is a mission. Every step is a strategy. Every twist and turn of the blade is a calculated risk one must take to accomplish a goal. To cut down an enemy is the ultimate triumph. It is an achievement only a few ever manage. There is no greater honor than to weave through an opponent's defenses and sift out a weakness. To exploit that weakness and watch them fall. The epitome of what it means to hold a sword.
I open my eyes, because I can't wait too long.
An enemy is cut down. Another replaces it.
The mission begins again.
I straighten and sheathe my swords as I watch the grove of cactus around me slowly tip and fall into two, sometimes three, pieces. Eight of them all together. The slices through them are flawless, cut with certainty and skill.
They were living things. I know that.
But they're not anymore.
I turn and lift my eyes towards the glow in the distant sky. No sun has yet stirred to wake. It is only the city. The one called Firefly House.
The pit of vice and iniquity.
My target waits within.
I rotate my arm, dimly aware of the sore aches and pains that plague not only there, but across the rest of my body.
Reminders of the battles already fought, and won.
Why do i hesitate? The city has nothing new to offer. I have been witness to tenfold worse in other cities, in other times.
Is it because he's there?
It has been exacly five days since we set out on this quest. It has been even longer since I first crossed swords with him in Kogakyo.
His is already the longest I've spent following any target. Those faces and names from the past, scarcely remembered. Once I had them in my sight, I never let them live long enough to see another sunrise.
Unless it was through the bars of a cage.
Why is he different?
It is a question I ask myself every night as I meditate. Again every morning when I wake.
I consider it again as I turn and make my way towards the glow of the city.
Why did I agree to come on this mission?
I could have cut him down so many times already. He's weak. He's distracted. The concern of strangers has been his focus since before we left. When he sleeps he's exhausted. It would be swift. it would be silent It would be easy.
It would also be hollow.
The wall surrounding the city is no challenge. The metal alloy of which it consists has been beaten and worn by the sand of ages. The foundation at its base is rock, similarly smooth, but with a silver of difference between layers in imperceptible cracks and crevices.
A silver is all I need.
Crouched atop the wall, I look over the city, its darkness marred by pinpoints of colored light. They culminate together into the glow that reaches to the sky, strong enough to suffocate the stars. A blinding light to hide the ugliness beneath.
Perhaps I am waiting to see. Waiting for the opportune moment to test myself.
And him.
How long before he breaks? How long before he realizes this mission is folly and gives up to return tending to his own existence, and that of his student?
From what I have seen demonstrated of samurai and like-minded types over the years, it will be a long time.
If it happens at all.
I agreed to postpone our battle until after he has seen this through.
Perhaps I am waiting to see if he really does.
If he succeeds, a small difference will be made.
If he fails, if he breaks, it won't change anything. The bandits will continue on as they always have. The merchants will exploit the peasantry. The strong among the weak. As it always has been.
But I can't deny the weight on my heart when I consider that possibility.
I move through the city unnoticed. Unseen. Darkness is an ally here, and it permeates all. People see what they want to see, and the idea of a predator lurking within their midst, no more than a street corner away, is not a notion they often entertain.
Finding the inn where the others have grouped isn't difficult. They are asleep on their mats. The mechanical loudmouth. The engineer. The boy. The spear weilder. The street entertainer.

And him.

Often before I have heard the samurai speak of connections.
Is this what they meant? This weight I feel on my heart as I settle down in preparation to rest and keep watch on the inn roof. From where I sit I have a clear view of their windows.
What is this weight?
Is it a feeling?
The determination to watch over him. To make sure he isn't disturbed.
As I traversed the streets I spotted my former employer from Kogakyo.
He will need his strength for tomorrow.
It is not protection. I am only defending what is mine. No one shall cut him down but me.
There is nothing in the world.
Nothing but myself, my swords, and my target.

/bobby./

понеделник, 14 май 2012 г.

Kno.

'Cause it starts a dream defferred
A clipped wing on a white dove
Seems absurd, a smudge on a white glove
Not seen nor heard like screams from the night's lungs
Cling to words so much that you won't budge
Fiends in herds who yearn for the white crumbs
Gettin high like the city sky when it lights up
Thats what the night does
It hits your mind with the right stuff
To keep you blind with a slight buzz!





четвъртък, 10 май 2012 г.

Whatever happens, happens.

There once was a tiger-striped cat.
This cat died a million deaths, revived & lived a million lives, and he was owned by various people who he really didn't care for.
The cat wasn't afraid to die.
Then one day the cat became a stray cat which meant he was free.
He met a white female cat & the two of them spent their days together happily.
Well, years passed & the white cat grew weak & died of old age.
The tiger-striped cat cried a million times, & then he died too.
Except this time, he didn't come back to life.



понеделник, 23 април 2012 г.

Would you kindly?

What is the difference between a man and a parasite? 
A man builds.
A parasite asks 'Where is my share?' 
A man creates. 
A parasite says, 'What will the neighbours think?' 
A man invents. 
A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God...





No Gods or Kings. Only Man.



Never mix friendship with business, kid.



четвъртък, 19 април 2012 г.

сряда, 4 април 2012 г.

Slug learns.





"You make me wanna die", he said that like he meant it
Story over, no more hoping to prevent it,but
"You make me wanna live", she that with a straight face
As she placed keepsakes inside her suit case
"Everything you say is a lie", he said that with a smirk
Fully aware it'll hurt when it hits the nerve
"Never heard a word I said", she responded
But he heard that and remembered it forever like a promise


Now here we are, wearing hatred on our masks
Let's carry on, put all your eggs inside that basket
Swing it round until the wooden handle snaps
Sort it all out and only keep the ones that cracked


"You make me wanna die", that's why I trust you
That's why I can look you in the eye and say "I love you"


I've never seen the sun decide to set so abrupt
As it does when the gun inside of you wakes up
Almost as if it's trying to hide from your tantrums
Head full of hurt, closet full of phantoms
Never seen the sun shine quite so loud
As it does when that little girl makes herself proud
Almost as if it wants to come play a part
In those moments when your heart ain't afraid of the dark
But sometimes I swear you make the sun confused
It wants to rise but it over analyzes what to do
It cries more than you when the storms come knocken'
Tries to hide it's face just to avoid watchin'
I would drive by and wave but there ain't no parade
So I'ma stay and wait for the day the sun goes away


What is it about women that brings out my venom?
Thought it was a peach but it tasted like a lemon
I ate it any way, can't help, it's my natural
From one extreme to another, no room for practical
Just act casual, maybe they won't notice
Or fall off the planet so you can escape the focus
Break the dirt, bury me down when I'm broken
Or let the undercurrent carry me out to the ocean
Can't swim as good as I could as a child
But as a kid I never swam, just stood there and smiled
Even though the idea of drowning in you
Seems kinda like it might be the wrong thing to do
You either gotta take a look at you and not the clown and the fool
Love can make suicide sound so cool


Let's watch the sun disappear into the water
Let's watch these people and point at the imposters
Let's lay it on the line, let's travel across it
Let's live forever, no matter what it costs us
Claustrophobic
Lots of down talk tossed
Doors closing and
Turn it off
Easily lost in moments
Forgot the motives
Sun almost exploded
Looking for proof
Who woulda knew the toy gun was loaded?
Go ahead and throw it out into the waves
Say goodbye to yesterday and try to fly the stress away
Took it from the sky, looked it square in the eye
Silence, trying to read between the snore and the sigh
There's a reason that they say that they can't take it with them
If you're leaving cause of love then it really isn't livin'